Navigating Tough Talks: 6 Strategies for Managing Conflict

By Jayson Krause, Managing Director of Level 52 & Award-Winning Author of The Science Behind Success

Conflict. It happens at home and it's as inevitable in the workplace as coffee stains on your nice white shirt. But, just like those pesky stains, how leaders handle conflict makes all the difference.

Here's a guide to navigating tough talks and managing conflict in a way that makes you proud.

1. Embrace the Elephant in the Room: Conflict isn't a dirty word. It's a sign of diversity in thought and perspective. The first step in managing conflict effectively is to acknowledge it. Don't avoid or ignore it - that just gives it time to fester. Embrace it as an opportunity for growth and learning.

2. Understand the Underlying Issues: Conflict often stems from unmet needs, unfulfilled expectations, or unresolved issues. Before diving into a tough talk, take the time to understand what’s behind the presenting issues so you can understand the underlying issues. Don’t make disastrous assumptions and make sure to get really curious. Ask open-ended questions. Listen actively.

3. Focus on the Issue, Not the Person: It's easy to slip into personal attacks during a conflict. Do what you can to resist this temptation because it will quickly become a descending spiral. Keep the focus on the issue at hand. Discuss behaviors and actions, not personalities or character traits. In our negotiation skills bootcamps, we invite people to think about being on the same side of the table as those they are in conflict with, looking across the table at the issue. Make the issue the obstacle, not the person.

4. Practice Empathy: Empathy is a powerful tool in conflict resolution. Try to see the situation from the other person's perspective. This doesn't mean you have to agree with them, but understanding their viewpoint can help you find common ground and give you far greater insight than having your blinders on and your shields up.

5. Seek Win-Win Solutions: Conflict isn't a zero-sum game. The goal isn't to win the argument but to find a solution that meets everyone's needs. Seek win-win solutions that foster collaboration and mutual respect. That way, you develop allies committed to mutual value creation rather than the endless battle of “you got me this time, but I’ll get you next”. 

6. Follow-up: Conflict resolution doesn't end when the tough talk is over. Follow up to ensure that the agreed-upon actions are being taken and that the underlying issues are being addressed. It means you care and it means that both of you are accountable.

You know this already, but conflict is a natural part of life, and navigating tough talks is a critical leadership skill. In fact, the more conflict you have, the better. By embracing conflict, understanding the underlying issues, focusing on the issue (not the person), practicing empathy, seeking win-win solutions, and following up, you can turn conflict into a catalyst for growth and improvement, for everyone.