How To Navigate The Pain Of Change In Turbulent Times
Guest Post by Alex Andrews
"Everything will be okay in the end, if it’s not okay, it’s not the end." – John Lennon
We are living at an incredible time in history where the world is undergoing drastic change due to a pandemic, forcing all of us to adjust how we respond to and do business amid conditions we have never experienced before.
If this brings you a little anxiety, that is normal. You and I are both hardwired with a survival mechanism where the brain uses anxiety as a response to protect us from the stress of danger or pain. It is an avoidance tactic to keep us safe. However, the difference between those who overcome turbulent times and those who get consumed by them, is the amount of time their minds remain in this state of extreme anxiety, or distress.
So, how do you make sure you don’t dwell there too long?
Stop for a moment and breathe. Breathe in and breathe out... Seriously, stop reading right now and just breathe.
Recognize the pain and hardship of your situation. Ask yourself, what is really hard for you about the changes you are going through? What has you staying up at night worrying? Write it down, give the pain and anguish you are feeling a name.
Now ask yourself, what is really exciting about all of this? What opportunities are there? How can I engage with the uncertainty to grow at this time? Get clear about what is beneficial about what you are experiencing and ponder on it for a moment.
There are always two sides to every challenge we face. The pain that comes with change can be exceptionally difficult, but it can also be incredibly exciting and rewarding. Our mindset and how we engage with the change makes the biggest difference.
Every living organism is only ever in one of two states at any given time—it is either surviving or thriving—it cannot be in both. Survival is characterized as a state of defense or maintenance of the status quo. Thriving is a state of growth and repair. And in times of uncertainty, it is only natural, even instinctual, to guard ourselves and defend what is ours so we don’t weaken.
If we are confronting this period of rapid change with a mindset of, “this is really hard, and I just need to wait it out, it will eventually pass,” biologically, the hormones rushing through our bodies are working to simply maintain what we have. However, if we engage with this pain and have a mindset of thriving, every thought, belief, perception and feeling results in a hormonal reaction that signals growth, development and improvement physically, mentally and emotionally.
Hans Selye, the father of stress research said, “it is not stress that kills us, it is our reaction to it.” So what reaction are you going to take?
To hijack the stress response from creating distress to producing eustress—the sense of benefit from our difficult circumstances—we need to engage with the pain more intentionally.
In our programs at Level 52, we have participants create a change pain list. Take a blank piece of paper and draw two vertical parallel lines, making three equal columns.
Next, follow these steps:
Label the middle column "Change"
The left column, label "Survive Response/Outcome"
The right column, label "Thrive Response/Outcome"
Now, in the middle "Change" column, make a list of all the difficult changes you are going through or asked to make
Under "Survive Response/Outcome," answer the following: What is the likely outcome if I resist this change? What will happen if I do nothing?
Under "Thrive Response/Outcome," answer the following: How will this benefit me? What is the best possible outcome if I do affect this change?
A behaviour that differentiates high-performers from the rest, is their ability to deliberately engage with the pain of changing. Once you have this completed this list, pick a change pain you are avoiding and ask; what is the next action I need to take? And what do I need to do to move towards a thrive outcome?
If we spend all day completely consumed by the negativity and pessimism of why this is so difficult and avoid the pain of change, we will never see past our current circumstance and will only be motivated to change when a nightmare wakes us up. However, if you and I can find the silver lining in all of this, focus on what is really exciting about what we are experiencing, and intentionally engage with the pain, eustress will increase, and we will begin to thrive.
Interested in learning more about our programs? Learn more by clicking here.
